At school I usually am a happy go luck person. Oddly enough after school is when my mood usually spirals downward. I am not one of those people who love school and never want it to end, I count down the minuets until the bell rings just like everyone else. I blame my bad moods on my siblings, they are the most annoying people in the world. I hate the fact that I have to share a room with my sister. I wish, wish, wish, that she and my other younger brother had off switches. Some days, every word, every stupid antic, drives me crazy. I snap at everything, when anyone tries to talk to me I respond with rude remarks. I don’t care, I am just angry. Sometimes later I feel bad, sometimes not. To keep myself from getting into anymore trouble I lock myself in my room (which doesn’t always work, since I have to share a room with Ms. Annoying) and listen to music. My new favorite is Lana Del Rey (listening to her right now, Born To Die). And having the air condition on, this summer heat is killer. While in my room my angry fades into sadness. I get frustrated over the first mistake I make and then I loose it and start crying. When I am crying I think of all the things that depress me, my weight and what I look like are big ones. I am my own worse enemy. I throw insults at myself, yet I can never find a way to solve any of these problems. My weight only seems to get higher, my hair frizzer and my face gets more pimples. So I basically spiral downward. Music is usually the only thing that revives me. Except I seem to listen to really depressing songs……… I don’t know what I would do without music, I listen to it all the time. Silence is too much, my thoughts can be too cruel. But I am not suicidal, I just think sad and mean thoughts. Who doesn’t?
- Letting Go (daphneshadows.wordpress.com)
- Interview: Lana Del Rey on the Leaks, the Imitators & the Haters (amp.cbslocal.com)
- Listen To Lana Del Rey’s Unreleased Rock Demo “True Love On The Side” (NEW MUSIC) (globalgrind.com)