I think that one of the worst things is to be disappointed or to disappoint someone. After someone has disappointed you, you don’t trust them as much as you used too. You lower your standard of them and think less of them. If a similar situation happens you baby the person so that the same mistake doesn’t happen again.
On the other side of the coin, it feels terrible to disappoint people. The way they look at you. Then after they baby you. I guess you can tell what happened today. But the thing is, I know I am judging to fast. I know that. During volleyball a girl, one of those who no one likes. The type of girl who wears heavy makeup and short shorts and tight shirts. She was telling me, “its ok. You can move up. You should probably move a few more steps up” Stupid. I made the shot and won the point.
The thing that really irks me is that I know that every other teenager feels this way. Everyone has been mad and hated someone. That I am just feeling how everyone else is feeling. Not special at all.
What is really bothering me is tennis. I am sorry if what I am saying hurts people. I think that it is a great sport and I respect anyone who plays it. In my experiences it is a snob sport. The people I have played with have looked down upon me because I suck, I am absolutely terrible at tennis. I made one of the guys I was playing with hate me. You should have seen the way he looked at me. Then he looked at the other team with….. Desperation! He wanted to be away from me and be ACTUALLY playing tennis. Not watching my crazy hits go out. The thing is, I don’t blame him. I would be thinking the exact same thing. I just like to think that I would have hidden it better. The others just frustrate me so much! Yeah, I suck at tennis. I am not scum under your shoe. I don’t know why I have been putting myself through this. The only reason I didn’t play volleyball at school is because I didn’t want to torture myself. I didn’t want to spend hours with a teacher I don’t like with a few others I would rather stay away from, and do all that running! But then I asked myself, what is this? Tennis has been torture. And now I shall be fighting my mom to get me out of it. I even offered to clean my dogs poop outside, thats how much I want to be free of it.
I really should read my last post. I have been having a couple bad days, I need to change something. I put too much stress on myself. I expect myself to be perfect and now everyone else does too. I am known for my grades. If I fail or get a C or something, then who the hell am I? I know depressing post. Hope you all had a good day and week! Just one more day until the weekend! Finally! But tomorrow I might die! I have to say my speech to the whole school! And then wait until the weekend is over so that I can get the results on Monday! X| I’ll think of a good post for tomorrow and the weekend!