So… Today I did something a little crazy, in my opinion. I emailed my english teacher (the horror!). I was blunt and just sort of exploded in pent up anger. But lets back track…
I have been getting books about writing. Today I got one about characters, who knew that there were so many components in making a truly unforgettable character? It sort of inspired me. For the longest time I have written different story plots with similar characters. The next day I always get sick of them and they just don’t seem interesting any more. Not something that you would want to write about. I lost my old notebook, much to my sadness, I always seem to misplace things! Anyways it is full of a bunch of different story ideas and other adventures that never captured my interest (as well as some of my old crushes 😄 )
I used to email my teacher whenever I got a new idea, during the summer that is. I just… Who would want to read all these crazy plots (I can’t think of the right term so that will just have to work for now). I know that as a teacher I would probably get sick of it. But it was during the summer, things were changing and nothing seemed permanent. And it would have worked better if we could actually see each other. This time however was different. I am just so frustrated with myself, everyone feels like this sometimes (I hope I am not the only one). This time I didn’t think of a plot, just interesting characters that I like. I asked if we could meet some time during school. But knowing her it will be at recess (I guess it wouldn’t happen any other time…) and many of the kids in my class are lazy and too interested in their iPads and virtual games to be outside. I don’t know… They will all be listening to me talking to her about some book I want to write. And they will be thinking, Oh thats so Taylor! Trying to write a book, as if her short stories weren’t enough. And a part of me just wants to say, SO WHAT? Yeah, I am doing something in my life. FOR ONCE! Yeah, I am a try-hard, is that supposed to be a bad thing? But I know that I am not fooling myself with these… Confident thoughts.
But I am not going to let these things stop me! But than again you can say anything you want from a distance. I will be a nervous wreck when I start talking to my teacher. I might have been just a tad rude in the email… And knowing me I will not remember a single thing that we talk about during the meeting, is “meeting” even the right term? No matter, I am going to do this! Wouldn’t it be amazing if I actually published something at my anonymous age? If I start to think big (like I do most of the time…) what if I wrote a book so good that people wrote reviews on it? Good reviews? And fan art and a movie? Now thats a little big. But wouldn’t it make a bigger deal if someone young wrote something amazing? I AM YOUNG AND RECKLESS AND I AM GOING TO WRITE AN AMAZING BOOK! I mean, why not?