So… Today I did something a little crazy, in my opinion. I emailed my english teacher (the horror!). I was blunt and just sort of exploded in pent up anger. But lets back track…
I have been getting books about writing. Today I got one about characters, who knew that there were so many components in making a truly unforgettable character? It sort of inspired me. For the longest time I have written different story plots with similar characters. The next day I always get sick of them and they just don’t seem interesting any more. Not something that you would want to write about. I lost my old notebook, much to my sadness, I always seem to misplace things! Anyways it is full of a bunch of different story ideas and other adventures that never captured my interest (as well as some of my old crushes XD )

I used to email my teacher whenever I got a new idea, during the summer that is. I just… Who would want to read all these crazy plots (I can’t think of the right term so that will just have to work for now). I know that as a teacher I would probably get sick of it. But it was during the summer, things were changing and nothing seemed permanent. And it would have worked better if we could actually see each other. This time however was different. I am just so frustrated with myself, everyone feels like this sometimes (I hope I am not the only one). This time I didn’t think of a plot, just interesting characters that I like. I asked if we could meet some time during school. But knowing her it will be at recess (I guess it wouldn’t happen any other time…) and many of the kids in my class are lazy and too interested in their iPads and virtual games to be outside. I don’t know… They will all be listening to me talking to her about some book I want to write. And they will be thinking, Oh thats so Taylor! Trying to write a book, as if her short stories weren’t enough. And a part of me just wants to say, SO WHAT? Yeah, I am doing something in my life. FOR ONCE! Yeah, I am a try-hard, is that supposed to be a bad thing? But I know that I am not fooling myself with these… Confident thoughts.

But I am not going to let these things stop me! But than again you can say anything you want from a distance. I will be a nervous wreck when I start talking to my teacher. I might have been just a tad rude in the email… And knowing me I will not remember a single thing that we talk about during the meeting, is “meeting” even the right term? No matter, I am going to do this! Wouldn’t it be amazing if I actually published something at my anonymous age? If I start to think big (like I do most of the time…) what if I wrote a book so good that people wrote reviews on it? Good reviews? And fan art and a movie? Now thats a little big. But wouldn’t it make a bigger deal if someone young wrote something amazing? I AM YOUNG AND RECKLESS AND I AM GOING TO WRITE AN AMAZING BOOK! I mean, why not?



  1. That’s a nice dream, but let me share a personal story with you.

    “I wanted to be a champion track runner. The 100 and 200m were my magic distances, and I fantasized about being chosen for the Olympics. I finally joined a team in high school. I even made it to State Finals as a freshman. Of course I lost badly. But I figured I was only a freshman against juniors and seniors. Next year, I would win.
    However, my progress had stalled. Then, I competed in a 400m relay, and I broke the school record. My coaches immediately started training me for the event. I qualified for the 100, 200, and 400 at States again, but I messed up in competition. I got anxious and started too fast. I finished 12th out of 16 when I thought I would at least finish in 5th. I was devastated and cried the whole way home. I qualified again as a Junior. I got the flu the day of the meet. I had failed again.
    Finally, it was my Senior Year. My last chance. I had to study, understand, and practice the 400m until I felt like crying and giving up. Some days, the practice was so hard I actually threw up. However, I decided that I would win first at district meets. I would then improve my times. I wouldn’t dwell on States. That year, I practiced the event so many times that I could do it in my sleep.
    Finally, it was judgment day. I was nervous but somehow calm at the same time. I didn’t rush out like I did before. I didn’t think about winning. I only thought about breathing and having a fun race. That year I won a bronze medal. I was happy like never before in my life. I had redeemed my failures. I had accomplished my goals.”

    The point is that you are like me as a Freshman. You have big dreams but not the experience; and writing like running is all about experience and practice. You have a long way to go still. In fact, a couple of years from now you might look back at your writing and laugh, or cringe. I know I did. You should have goals instead of dreams, and you should take it step by step. If you start too big, you will get discouraged. Start small. Write for local contests and literary magazines. Analyze books. Make them your own. Remember, it’s hard, hard work.

    Thinking about being a superstar, world famous writer at your age (You’re in 7th grade, I believe?) is just a distraction. Just concentrate on developing your skills right now. Think only of writing a story that you love not about being famous. Because a dream of fame won’t carry you through the difficult times. Only love of your craft can do that.

    1. Thank you for that amazing and long comment! 🙂 I know that your right… But sometimes it’s hard not to dream big… And I think that you need to dream big before you act small because you need that inspiration. You need to have hope when things are bad, that some day things will be better. But of course love is the only… Way to go? Reason to write? Thank you for sharing your story with me. 🙂 I am glad that you won that award! Congrats! And your not far from my age….

  2. Hi Taylor,

    I loved the title of this post – that bold exclamation of utter conviction and belief in yourself- in CAPITALS!! It made me smile, and it made me happy to see it, because that kind of self confidence and ambition is nothing that should ever be taken for granted, no matter how young or old you are.

    It’s great because you could have easily written “I AM YOUNG AND RECKLESS AND SO I WILL NEVER BE AMAZING ENOUGH TO WRITE A BOOK”. But you didn’t. So I hope you will remember the feeling you had now if you ever feel the opposite of that in the future. Which as ‘shuart24’ kindly tried to alert you too in their comment – you probably will (unless you are a superhuman).

    But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It means that you will have to be prepared for and accept you will have horrible moments while you are trying to write your book. But if it comes from a place of love (as you say) and not just because you are chasing the end goal of money or fame or approval from others, then you will enjoy the process of writing and not only hold out so that you can get it done.

    Here’s a quote which has helped me while I have been trying to write my thesis this year. A thesis is not a book, but it is similar in many ways because you still invest a lot of yourself into it, and people will judge it and you, and it has the potential to make you rich and famous (well, as rich and famous as it is possible for scientists to be!).

    “Being negative or doubtful is very different to being realistic. Feeling that what you desire is impossible or undeserved is an illusion that blocks your progress.”

    So in summary, dear Taylor, I do hope that you hold onto this dream and write a book if it is what you want. Don’t listen to or pay attention to the doubts of others. What do we know? And even if your classmates or teacher express doubt, and it makes you feel bad, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You’ll never know unless you try your hardest, again and again and again.

    Yui xo

    1. Thanks Yui! That was a very inspirational comment! 🙂 I didn’t know what to do for the title, at the end of the post I wrote that quote and thought it would be a good title! I am glad you liked it! I’ve been wanting to write a book for awhile, so I am just going to do it! Your right, what could go wrong when this is what I want to do? And I won’t let anyone stop me! 😀 For awhile I was negative about, and very doubtful, I am not anymore! Good luck on your thesis!

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