I’ve changed a lot this year. Who hasn’t? Last year I never imagined I would ever cut my hair. I never liked short hairstyles. I was planning on growing mine out to my waist or something like that. I never thought that I would have a blog. I never thought that my best friend and I would barely see each other, become strangers. I never thought that I would become the person I am.
This year I’ve been to New York, which is crazy. If you told me last year that I would be traveling to New York or really just traveling in general, I would have thought that you were crazy. I have always loved traveling, I have just never have the chance. My grandfather died, I never thought that I would be in California with him. I never thought that I would be the reason that my grandmother wasn’t with him in his final moments. We went to see the Lone Ranger. I had known that he wasn’t doing to well for awhile. I figured that my Dad and I would go to California for the funeral and to help my grandmother. It never occurred to me that he would die while I was there.
And I if you told me years ago that one day I would be getting straight A’s I would have laughed. School has never meant so much to me then it did last year. Because last year I realized that college would be my only chance to ever leave my home town. That as much as my parents talked we would never actually move. I had been hoping for a very long time, my hopes would leap whenever they talked about houses or different states. It hurt a lot when I realize that I was stuck here for a few more years. Sure, I go to a different state maybe once a year but for the most part I am stuck here. And I know I have it better than most but it still felt suffocating. I have never felt more trapped in a place then I did last year.
But I am just focussing on the bad things. I gained something this year. Confidence. Well, not really.I am working on it. I have hope now that I will be confident. Something I didn’t have at the beginning of last year. Hope, is really what I gained. Last year made me hopeful for the best that is too come. And, I have gotten so much closer to my friends at school. Who knew that someone could understand me so much? Or make me laugh?