Hi guys! I am catching up on my challenges!
A reputation can be a very powerful thing. It can cause people to misjudge you. To respect and admire you. To stay away from you and add to the whispers. Reputations can be given to you or you create a reputation yourself through your actions. My reputation? Hmmm, I don’t think it covers all of me. The thing is, a reputation can never match all of your individual traits. It sums it all up with a few simple words. Trouble Maker. Goody Two-Shoes. Kind. Organized. Cruel. Well, that last one might have been taking that two far but you get the idea. Does “trouble maker” describe a whole person? Do those two words say that perhaps he wants the attention he has never gotten at home or maybe thats how he gets friends and why they stay with him. No, people call him a trouble maker and say they’ve got him all figured out. That he will never change. A reputations stays with you as long as your in that place.
I am going to go to a new school soon. I’ll be the new kid, again, with a clean slate. No one will have any idea what my past reputation was. Not that my reputation is bad, actually it’s pretty swell. Teachers in the hall call me “such a good kid” or tell me “oh, you are always so kind.” Well, thanks. A reputation can control you, I am learning. If I were to shout at a kid to shut up or even swear, no matter how annoying they are or how angry I am, it would be like an alien took control over me. It’s actually kind of funny, people get all shocked when I swear. My reputation can be so controlling. I feel like everyone has such hight expectations for me. That I have to get into this school. I have to get a scholarship. I have to make it in the high math. I have to be the first to understand the new song and be able to teach it to everyone else. I always have to have a smile and reassuring advice. Well, I don’t. I have no idea what to say when people tell me something is wrong. I frown, offer a hug. What do you expect me to do? Math is hard, I don’t understand these concepts. Don’t ask me for help. Please, I don’t want to let you down. Because I am, and I hate it. I feel like I am constantly letting people down. When I get my school sorries, it’s going to be a little traumatic for me. Everyone expects me to get into the hardest school, to win that scholarship. Well, I don’t think it’s gonna happen. I have my fingers crosses and studied all that I could. But I have a nagging feeling that I am going to let everyone down, and I hate that feeling. I hate letting people down. I say ‘sorry’ more than any word. I was moved from first chair to second in band, which basically means I was demoted. Which sucks, because I have tried so hard to be that first chair. And you know what? I have a really hard time with my 16th notes, it makes no sense to me. I fumble with notes I’ve none for a year.
Have you heard that Frozen song? Let It Go? I love that song. Really, I admire Elsa.
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Be the good girl you always have to be. I know my situation is totally different then her animated one, but still her character spoke to me.
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
Anyways, my parting advice is to let it go. Let that reputation go. Slam the door on it. Focus on yourself, your character. Who do you want to be? If you are the person you want to be, do the actions that you feel are right, then everything else will fall into place. Just always be kind and polite, even if you don’t feel like it. Have a good day!