Hi guys! We’ve survived another week. During the week I had a talk with some of my good friends and I wanted to share some of their words of wisdom.
You choose your own happiness. You choose when to be happy and when to make yourself miserable. Sure, this may not be the cause all of the time. Sometimes you just need to cry and feel sorry for yourself. But, you can’t stay in that place. You need to decide when to be happy and when to stop feeling bad for yourself. There are so many bad things happening in this world. People are fighting in Syria and in Nigeria over 200 girls are still in captivity, missing. Every day someone dies, every day a heart is broken. Bad stuff will never stop happening, there will always be someone who loses to their inner monster. You cannot let that stop you from achieving your own happiness. Because, you know what? Good stuff happens every day, too. Right now, in this coffee shop, miles and miles away from any reader, I see happiness. I see a little girl with her parents eating some type of pastry, making a mess but smiling as bright as the sun. I see two friends taking a break from their huge books and chatting. I see people on dates, being themselves, laughing and reminiscing. If you can’t see that, then what about the teen boy that saved the new husband’s life? Or the (very,very) rich couple that donated to save many different Head Start programs? To save poor children? Still can’t see the happiness in the world? Go to your nearest cafe (preferably not Starbucks, stay local!) get your favorite drink (chai teas are always a good option) and get some sugary treat. Lemon bars, coffee cakes or the cafe’s special. Sugar and a good drink are easy ways to get happy. Sit down at the cafe. Take some time for yourself, read, draw or browse Facebook. Whatever makes you happy. This is not being selfish or unproductive, this is needed. Time for yourself will only help you in the future.
Look around, notice everyone? Every single one of them feels sad sometimes. Every one of them has been disappointed, hurt and lied too. They have fought battles, and are still fighting them. They are just like you. But the one thing that makes you different from them is that they, and you, will never understand each other. You may go through similar battles but your thoughts and your actions will always be unique to you. And isn’t that special? That no one will ever think like you? I know, it can be scary and lonely. But look around, being different hasn’t stopped any of those relationships. It will end many, but being different will always introduce you to your best matches. The people you are meant to be with, forever.
And if you’re like me, than you will be wondering when that will happen. Doesn’t it look easy? All of them have friends that seem to understand them, it just looks so simple! But making friends is hard, especially if you have a hard time talking. Like me. It seems like that will never happen, but just you wait and see. We need to put ourselves out there, no one will come to us. We need to make them want to come to us, and after awhile they will. One day we will have friends like that, we just have to keep working at it. Those people? The ones who look oh so popular and happy? They have worked for it. It has taken them years to build those relationships, they have gone through some hard times together. But they worked through it. Just like you and me will have to do. We are starting at the bottom, and building our futures. One day we are going to bring our new best friends here, and we are going to be just like those people we see today. One day, just keep fighting.
If you read my introduction, the last paragraph would have confused you. Didn’t I say that this was my good friend’s wisdom? It is. Last week Monday, I started my new school. Technically I only started the mandatory summer school (I know, it’s as bad as it seems… Which is why I am working on my first paragraph…) but it already feels like I started. And it is so lonely. I am so used to have my best friends right next to me. Being alone and misunderstood is saddening. It took me most of the first week to realize that no one was going to come to me begging to be my friend. (Their loss… Doesn’t this remind you of Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell? I hope everything ends up as good as it did for Cath!) I actually had to go out and talk to people. I had to suffer awkward silences and bad jokes. And I still have to, and I will have to for awhile. This makes me sad and alone and scared. What if I never make new friends? What if everyone hates me? I am already going to the last school that I wanted to, being alone there will/and is not helping. After talking with my friends I realized that I am making it even more miserable. I am comparing this school to my friend’s schools. But the grass isn’t greener on their side, life will be hard no matter what. The school isn’t at fault here, no one is. Beginning again, anywhere, is hard. It will take time, but (I am hoping) I will have great friends. I will have people who understand me (as best as they can), people I will take to this cafe. But right now, without my mystical future friends, life is hard. (And thinking about all the messed up things in the world won’t make the fact that you are sad any better. Everyone gets sad, don’t hate yourself for it.) I’m not going to sugarcoat it, life can be lonely. We just need to keep fighting on. I am working on being more optimistic and happier at school. Strangers (technically acquaintances, now) like happy. A smile can change someone’s opinion. (Again, I am hoping)
I hope you guys have a splendid weekend and life. Just keep fighting and working for what you want. One day, we will look back and be glad for the hard work that we put into life. I believe in you guys, and if you need someone to talk to, I am here.